Always Keep Fighting because You Are Not Alone

A post shared by Jessica (@jessicam.jones) on

People get depressed for different reasons. Some of these reasons include family issues, personal issues, etc. About 350 million people suffer from depression according to http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs369/en/. Personally, it was issues with my family and personal issues that I have with myself.

My biological parents weren’t together and I was getting a new step mom and a new step sister. It’s really hard to do when you think that the woman who gave birth to you didn’t want you. I was about 10 years old and I was depressed for a couple years. When I first started to get depressed I didn’t know how to handle it so I lashed out. I yelled and if anyone tried to touch me I would thrash around in their grasp twisting and turning to get away. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right but cry so I stayed in my room and cried and cried till my eyes were dry and out of tears. Eventually it felt like I couldn’t even cry right.

I went to 2-3 psychiatrists and none of them helped. I talked to the first one a bit but the others I didn’t say anything to. My parents eventually gave up and just stuck with medicating me which I stopped taking since they thought I was getting better. I wasn’t, I had tried to kill myself. I had wanted it to just end and stop. I was tired of being in pain, feeling like I’m alone and that there was no reason to keep fighting, I just wanted it to be over. I tried but my sister stopped me and comforted me and let me cry it out with her. She didn’t tell anyone. I eventually got better at hiding everything behind a good smile, at pretending I was happy. I eventually started believing the lie.

Sometimes I was but other times I was just going through the motions. I don’t want to kill myself anymore and things look like they are getting better. My dad is deployed again but we get to talk more often and we get to visit him in Europe. Things with my mom are better and so are things with my step sister. I am also talking to my biological mom again since things are also getting better with her. Sometimes it’s still hard but not as hard as it used to be. There are still some mornings where it is a struggle to keep fighting and days where I feel completely alone.

Part of the reason I’m getting better is because of some campaigns that a few of my favorite actors ran. Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, and Misha Collins ran 2 campaigns to help people suffering with depression. Jared suffers from depression and he knows how hard it is, so he started the Always Keep Fighting Campaign. This is a link to an article about his campaign and why he started it.  He helped me know that it’s okay to struggle everyday and that everyday is a battle won. The other campaign was run by Jensen and Misha. They started the You Are Not Alone Campaign. Link. Other Link. The first link is to the campaign website showing what they do and how they are doing it. The other link is to an article where you can sign up to help and further explains what the campaign is all about. They raised money to train fans to help other people suffering with depression and anxiety, addiction, and self harm. They helped me realize that I’m not alone. There are people who care.

They taught me to Always Keep Fighting because I’m Not Alone.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s