Shattered

Message about Depression

Many people suffer from depression and some of those are teenagers just like you. Depression affects 15 million adults. 6.7% of those 15 million are in the U.S. population. If you know someone who is showing signs of depression, talk to them. Some signs include:

  • Sleeping too much or too littleImage result for anxiety and depressions
  • Having little energy
  • Weight changes
  • Little interest in activities
  • Feeling bad about yourself
  • Having trouble concentrating or making decisions
  • Thoughts of hurting yourself or you would be better off dead

Always be sure to watch out for these signs in others and in yourself. If you experience any of these signs, ask yourself if you are okay. Then, seek help. Whether that be from an adult or professional help. 50% of people with depression commit suicide. Life does get better and you deserve to be much happier life than the one you are living in. As the author’s of this short story, we both connected to Elizabeth by feeling the same nervousness as she did into entering a new school. Now that we are about halfway into our ninth grade school year, we realize that high school isn’t as bad as we thought it would be. Our advice to incoming ninth graders, students moving to a new school, people suffering through depression, or anyone that is feeling nervous about a new experience, is to be calm and think about the wonderful things life has to offer. Last year, one of my cousins, who I’m very close to, suffered through depression. As someone close to them, I felt awful for not being there when I should’ve been. Some other family members and I were the first people she admitted to being depressed and showed us her cuts. We convinced her to tell her parents and get help, and she did. Now, she’s better than ever and I always see her smiling. Similar to Speak, this journal entry story displays the feelings of a girl suffering through depression. The suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8255.

August 17, 2015

It’s the first day at my new high school, Willshire Academy. I’m so excited to be in creative writing, which is pretty good for a 10th grader. The reason I’m in such a high class for my age is because writing is my passion. It’s my outlet through all of the awful things that have happened to me recently. First, I find out that my boyfriend, Derek, was cheating on me with my (now ex) best friend of eleven years. APPARENTLY, since I was moving to a new, preppy and expensive school out of town, he decided to break up with me to be with perfect, beautiful, flawless Bethany (my ex bestie) who does no wrong. She is seen as this angel, making me seem like an awful person. She always volunteered to help with everyone (I guess she decided to volunteer to be my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend). This is literally a sad romance movie come to life. I hope I end up with the perfect guy and have a happy life. Anyways, what I was trying to say was that my teacher, Mrs. Smith, suggested that we write in a journal everyday for a year to improve our writing skills. Mrs. Smith seems really cool and laid-back, which I like since every other teacher at this school is stuck up. I hope we have one of those fun teacher-student friendships, but I haven’t been in such a “fun” mood since the breakup.

Another thing that you, my only best friend at the moment (which is really sad that my best friend is a journal) should know about is my family. My family of eight includes my mom, dad, older sister, two older brothers, my, two younger siblings, and my favorite member, Boomer our Golden Retriever. He seems to be the only one who listens to me besides Kate. She’s my one older sister and we used to be really close, but once she left the house and became an adult, we grew apart. I know it sounds dumb, but I don’t like being the only girl around. I have my mom, but she’s always too busy with her job as a lawyer, spending time with my dad, and my other siblings. You would think since I’m the only girl I would get all of the attention from my parents (because I thought that too), but by the time they come home, eat dinner the chef has made, and get my younger siblings ready for bed, the sun has already set and they are too tired to talk. It’s okay though, because I’ve gotten used to it (which is really sad now that I actually kind of say it). Dad just got home, you can tell because Jackson and Nathan are screaming to get to him at the front door. He just got home from work, he’s an orthopedist. I hope that one day I can make my family proud and do some type of professional job. Of course I want to be an author, but I don’t know if I’m good enough to be one. If this whole author career thing doesn’t work out, I don’t know what my future holds. It’s time for dinner, so I guess I’ll just leave now (wow, what a great start to a year long diary, Elizabeth). Oh and by the way, my name is Elizabeth:) It’s hard, but I’m trying to keep a smile on, whether that be real or fake. 

August 24, 2015

It’s been a week and I’ve already completely forgot to write in this journal. I haven’t been in the happiest of moods to write about my sad life. Although, I have been writing a lot of sad poetry. I have to hide it, I don’t want to be known as the depressed, goth girl at my new school, especially now since I’ve made some new friends. They’re in my social studies class, which is lucky because that’s my lunch period, so I have someone to sit with. Not to be one of those people, but they seem like one of the popular girls. I don’t want to sound selfish, but Derek and I were THE couple and Bethany and I were THE best friends. It’s weird because now none of my old, popular friends text, call, or associate themselves at all with me. I’m still trying to get the gist of things and haven’t heard anything bad about them, so let’s hope that they’re as nice as they’ve been to me this past week and let me join their clique.

August 27,2015

Creative writing was awful today. We went outside to do a bonding exercise with the class. You had to pass filled water balloons with a partner. Well, these water balloons were almost the size of a basketball! Luckily she picked partners because I don’t know anyone in the class. I got paired with another 10th grade girl named Lilly. As Lilly and I were in the final two teams to have not dropped the balloon, I got excited and started to smile (a real smile). Since I can’t ever be happy the world needs to remind me that I’m having too much fun. As I go up to catch the massive sized balloon, it breaks and the water gets all over me. Not just a little splash, a HUGE splash. Everyone starts laughing at me and I can feel my throat swell up. I look up to see Lilly handing me her jacket. I just shake my head and stand as still as I can. Mrs. Smith instructs me to go to the office to see if I could get a new pair of clothes. Since it’s already been half way through sixth period (the last class of the day), they hand me a towel and tell me to go back to class. Once I get back, I see on the board that I need to write about my experience with the bonding exercise. I shiver back to my seat and get out a piece of paper. As I write “ I Never Did like Exercising” everyone is already turning theirs in. Before I can think of what to write down next, it’s already time to leave and I’m the only one with homework.

September 9, 2015

I haven’t been writing much in my journal. A couple days ago, the realization of Bethany and Derek’s relationship hit me…hard. I was just casually scrolling through Twitter, and I saw a picture of Bethany sitting on Derek’s lap, smiling. Not showing any sign of guilt that she stole her best friend’s boyfriend. I wanted to burst out into tears, but then I had an idea. What if I get  payback by finding some cute guy and taking a picture of us together smiling and laughing. It would show that I’ve moved on and that I’m happy. Even though that’s a great plan, there’s one problem. I don’t think anyone likes me. It’s weird because, at my old school, it seemed like every guy had a crush on me. I was friends with the popular girls and they liked me for me. Derek and I would go on group dates with the other couples and have so much fun, living the teenage life. On the bright side of things, Rebecca, Chelsea, and Lauren, the girls I sit with at lunch, invited me to go shopping with them tomorrow!! It might not seem like a big deal, but it is for me. It means I’m climbing back up the social scale. Which is especially hard at this school because everyone is rich, fancy, and posh. I’m not used to that, so I was considered a slug at this school, until now. Wish me luck that I make a good impression! (Omg, if anyone finds that I asked for good luck from a notebook, I would be dead meat).

September 10, 2015

This is pre shopping day with the Plastics, that’s what I call them because they remind me of the girls from the movie Mean Girls. (Rebecca is Regina, Chelsea is Karen, and Lauren is Gretchin. It’s actually hilarious how similar they are). At first I was excited, but now I’m nervous. This could make or break the rest of my life!!

Post shopping day: it went.. different than I thought it would be. I thought I would be diffident and not be able to show my true self, but I was the complete opposite! I don’t know why, but I agreed with everything they said, even if I didn’t think it at all. When they would complain about their appearance, which was all the time, I would tell them that they’re perfect and blah blah blah. But when I would complain about myself, they would agree with me and make petty comments like, “You really want to get that?” “That’s DEFINITELY not your color.” “Let’s try a bigger size, like 3 more sizes bigger.” Sometimes, they would even tell me that I’m straight up fat! This irritates me so bad because all I am is nice to them. On the other hand, I guess it is nice of them to be honest with me. I shouldn’t be complaining, I was accepted into their group (somehow). Maybe they like being overly complimented by a fat girl. Maybe I should start working out or go on a diet, because if I don’t get into shape soon, I could be kicked out of the group. That would suck. I’ll just act sick and won’t eat dinner tonight to get a head start.

September 16, 2015

I haven’t been writing in my journal as much because I’ve been too busy writing a lot of short stories for creative writing class. I have this great schedule where Mrs. Smith and I stay in her classroom at the end of the day and, while she is doing teacher things like grading papers, I stay and write a short story. I usually write a story or two from 2:30 to 4:30 and my mom picks me up from school because it’s on her way home from work.

The car ride home with mom is slowly, but surely, increasing our relationship, which makes me happy. She asks me about my day and I explain my day, trying to avoid all of the sad parts. Then I ask about hers and, most of the time, she says tiring. I ask why and she talks about it. It sounds like an ordinary conversation, but I cherish every second of it; I think mom does too. Of course, once we pass through the gate and huge front doors, everything returns to normal and I feel separated from her. My life isn’t perfect right now, but I’m trying to make the best of it.

September 19, 2015

Today at school, the Plastics and all of their other friends and boyfriends decided to skip lunch. They invited me to come, and for some reason, I didn’t want to. I used to with Bethany at my old school, so I don’t know why I don’t feel like it. I know it will deduct major points on my image, but being popular doesn’t seem like the most important thing in the world at the moment. I lie saying that I’m not feeling good, which I guess is fine with them because they say “ok” and sneak past the doors with a group of other populars. As I walk into the cafeteria alone, I notice Lilly sitting alone with headphones plugged in. I walk over, hoping that she’ll let me join her. When I get to the table, I awkwardly tap her on the shoulder and she smiles as she takes out her headphones. I don’t remember our whole conversation, but I found out a lot more about her and we have almost everything in common. Turns out, she calls Rebecca, Chelsea, and Lauren the Plastics too! We both hate this school and feel like an outcast. We both love to write and she’s also a new student to the school. The only difference between us is that our families are completely different. She’s the only child of a Boho musician family who traveled the country writing music (That’s how she got into writing). The only way Lilly got into this school is because her grandparents felt bad for her that she’s been taught by online school her whole life. She wanted Lilly to have a “normal” life and since she’s never experienced normal before, she got her into a “better than average” school. In a way, I’m jealous of her. I know it’s dumb because she doesn’t have any friends and her life is different, but she doesn’t realize what she has. Since she’s an only child, she gets all of the attention. Her grandparents are willing to pay a ridiculous amount for this school. I know, I’m so ungrateful, but I would rather live in a smelly RV with just my parents than in a mansion full of maids, kids, and parents who don’t even know you exist.

October 31, 2015

Happy Halloween! I’m so relieved Halloween is finally here because the Plastics demanded that we all go on diets and exercise everyday for the whole month of October so we can look good on this “special” day. To be perfectly honest, I haven’t been exercising everyday. Although, I’ve been on a diet, in my case it means not eating a lot. The reason I haven’t been eating a lot is because I skip the exercise we’re supposed to do, so if I don’t eat, then it might get rid of the fat faster(?). It’s easier than I though it would be because I haven’t been hungry lately. The Plastics keep calling it a special day. When I asked them why, they said that everyone at Willshire Academy considers Halloween a big deal. I wouldn’t expect people at this school to be into such “juvenile”activities, but I’m fine with it. My favorite part about Halloween is all of the costumes. When I was younger, my family would all get together one night and work on our costumes by hand and make Halloween treats. It’s sad we stopped doing it three years ago.

Back to the happy part of things, the rest of the Plastics and I are going over to Rebecca’s house to get ready. My whole friendship is really weird with them. Somedays, I feel like they hate me, other days, I feel like I’m one of them. Since I can’t bring this journal with me, I’ll just inform you about everything afterwards. By the way, I’m on thin ice with the Plastics. I asked them if I could bring Lilly with us to the party, and they almost kicked me out then and there. Oh well, wish me luck!

November 1, 2015

Sorry I didn’t write about the party last night, I cried myself to sleep so I forgot. I don’t want to relive what happened, but I need to start getting used to it for when I go back to school tomorrow.

So, it all started off  when I walked to the Rebecca’s house, who lives only a street down from me. She surprised us with slutty outfits. We were originally going to all dress up as Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck and some of those types of characters, but I guess not anymore. Now, we are wearing much more provocative clothes. Fifteen and sixteen years olds shouldn’t wear these things. When I said I didn’t want to, Rebecca whined about how she spent money on all of our outfits, which wouldn’t have put a dent in her allowance, and that this is why she made us all workout so hard. Feeling a mixture of peer pressure and wanting her to shut up, I agreed. Although, I did wear a jacket most of the time, which looked weird since we live in California, but I’d rather look weird than a “sexy librarian” because, according to Chelsea, “I like to write and stuff!” This isn’t even the worse part about the night. Once we’re finished getting ready, people start piling in at Rebecca’s house. I try to make conversation, drink beers, and dance, trying to fit in, but I’m not happy. All of the fake laughs and acting like I’m glad to be here got boring, so I locked myself in one of the many bathrooms in the house. I text Lilly to see what she was doing because I’d rather be hanging out with her, so texting is close enough. She answers immediately.  Almost two hours go by and Lilly and I are still texting each other. I start thinking about why I want to be a Plastic when I have Lilly. I’ve decided that I’ll ditch them. I unlock the door and head nervously downstairs to meet all of the drunk teenagers making out and dancing. Why did I want a life of popularity to be my life in the first place? Rebecca and Lauren spot me coming down the stairs and run over to me. My mind starts racing with questions, wondering if not being a Plastic is the right choice. They tell me that they’ve been looking for me for hours, which I doubt. When I try to explain, they interrupt me saying that Justin, the IT guy at Willshire, wants to dance with me. Me. I couldn’t believe it, someone wants me. Of course I said yes and went over to him. When I reach him, his presence and smile overtake me. Blushing and realizing that he said something, I snap out of the hallucination. He smiles and takes my hand and walk into the middle of the room and start slow-dancing; it’s a dream come true. I got the perfect guy. This is almost the end of the romance movie I was talking about. As I lift my head up from his chest to look at his beautiful blue eyes, I try to talk but before I know it, I get drenched in honey. Laughs arise from the room. Everyone at the party rushes to see what the commotion is about. Some people are getting their phones out. Before I realize it, feathers get added onto to my already sticky body. As the laughs grow louder, people start chanting “Chicken, chicken, chicken!” Justin is one of them. It’s hard to see with the honey pressing my eyelids down, but I make out the Plastics figures, holding buckets of sticky honey, smiling the same grin Bethany did when she stole Derek. I try to scream, but I can’t. There’s a rock in my throat that feels impossible to get out. As much as I just want to run away to my house and hide under my covers, I push through everyone and go upstairs to grab all of my belongings. When I reach her bathroom, I look into the mirror. I can’t recognize myself. I used to be Elizabeth, the girl who had it all. Now, I’m Elizabeth, the depressed, lonely girl that no one likes. I grab a towel, the most expensive looking I can find, and wet it to wipe as much gunk as I can off. I change out of my ridiculous costume and switch into the leggings and sweatshirt I wore here. When I go up to the sink to wash my hands, I hesitate to look up at the mirror in front of me. I give in and see my face, I not only look different, I feel different. Even though everyone in this house has already lost all respect from me, I decide to clean up some makeup I have running down my face. After drying my face on another fancy looking towel, I look up to see Rebecca and her posse walk in. They’re talking to me but I can’t hear them because I’m too focused on trying not to burst out into tears. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I know that I spoke up for myself and told them that they are the rudest people I’ve ever met and I never want to be associated with them. They stood in shock, not believing that I would talk back to them; I didn’t expect it either. I ran out the door as fast as I could, ignoring the laughing from the crowd along the way. I plodded along the sidewalk, furious thinking that the Plastics actually liked me and that I could become one of them. I text my older brother, Michael, asking if mom and dad are back from their extravagant Halloween party with mom’s boss, trying to get a raise or something with money( I tend to not listen in on conversations at dinner anymore). Of course, Michael is out with some other friends and has no idea. Yay, I get to find out on my own. When I reach my house, I find out that luckily no one is there, besides some maids of course. They won’t be a problem though. I just want to go to sleep, but I need to get in the shower to wash the gunk off me. I end up laying in the bathtub, listening to sad music playing from my phone. I need the music to make me not think about what had happened, but it doesn’t work. I start crying about all of the things that have happened to me since I’ve moved. That’s why I hate this house. It reminds me of the damage it caused in my life. When I reached my bed, Boomer hears my sobbing and comes to comfort me. It works for awhile, but the tears flood back up until I fall asleep and try to dream of a better life.

November 20, 2015

I don’t have the guts and energy to write about how awful my life is. I don’t want to talk about wha school life is like because it’s too sad to admit, mainly to myself. Lilly has been an amazing friend through all of this. She asks me everyday if I’m ok. I always deny. When I told Mrs. Smith that I can’t join her after school anymore, she got really upset, which made me feel even worse. I hate lying to her, especially Lilly. I hate lying in general. My parents have been concerned about me and keep asking if I’m depressed or if I need to talk to someone. I deny that too. It made me start wondering if I am depressed. I might be a little sad, but I could never picture myself suffering through depression; it just doesn’t sound like me. I try not to think about it too much because it takes energy out of me. I don’t know why I feel so drained all of the time. I’m getting enough sleep, more than usual. I haven’t been putting on makeup or caring about what I wear anymore, so I just wake up, put on some clothes, and head to school (A.K.A. prison). Since I don’t feel like talking about my feelings anymore, I’ll leave. Goodnight.

November 26, 2015

Happy Thanksgiving!!! I’m SO uncontrollably grateful to wake up every morning and live my AMAZING life with a smile on my face!!!(If you couldn’t tell, that was sarcasm).

My mom helps our chef make Thanksgiving dinner. I’m assuming it was a delicious meal because,by the time I got to the table, it was almost completely gone. I didn’t bother asking the chefs to make more though.The food wasn’t the only thing that went badly, I had no one to talk to. Thinking back to it, I could’ve made conversation, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk. Instead, I locked myself in my room. Kate came over for dinner, but she was too busy with her husband, Bobby and everyone asking questions about her new expected baby (Great, another way Kate can have a reason not to be with me). I mean I’m happy for her and everything, but now I feel like our bond is officially broken. Before she left the house for college, we were inseparable. We would hang out all the time and play pranks on all of our brothers. Sometimes, I wish that she never got married and we could just stay kids forever, but life goes on.

December 12, 2015

Happy birthday to me. I used to love birthdays, now I hate them, well at least my birthday. I’m not in the mood to celebrate. When I told my parents that I don’t want to have a party they were all like “but you have to! It’s your sweet sixteen!” If I want to make my sixteenth birthday sweet at all, I would just stay in bed all day and try to sleep my problems away. That would be the best birthday present I could ever get.

December 15, 2015

I did it. I made my first cut; sliced it right above my left wrist. I don’t know how to explain the feeling. Is it bad that I want to keep doing it? Why would I want to keep doing it when it makes me want to cry? It’s sad that I’m feeling joy out of my pain. I’m not sure what else I need to say. I went immediately to this journal to write about it, so I guess that’s all I need to say…

December 25, 2015

Merry Christmas. Christmas used to be my favorite holiday, with all of the good spreading around. Christmas makes everyone happy. It’s the time of giving and the only thing I’m getting is a miserable life. I haven’t talked much about my school life in this journal so I decided that I’ll finally talk about it, my least favorite part of the day.Image result for depression pictures

It sucks. My grades are failing and my parents are really upset with me about that. It’s just that I don’t care anymore. I don’t have a purpose to live anymore, so why work so hard on something that won’t matter to me? The part of the day I somewhat like is spending lunch with Lilly. We had to move to the outside courtyard to eat because people kept bothering us. I felt bad about that. She always invites me to go over to her house or she come over to mine. I always feel bad saying no to her, so when it’s time for us to hangout, I’m suddenly “busy.” I know, I’m an awful person, I hate me too.

December 30, 2015

Two days ago, Boomer, the only thing that kept me from not breaking apart, is now gone. Last night, he fell asleep on top of my feet, like he’s been doing his whole life. When I woke up, he wasn’t breathing. I’ve been in my bed, bawling my eyes out ever since. I seem to be the only one taking this death hard. Of course everyone is upset, but they don’t seem to be as upset as they should be. I mean, he’s been with this family his whole life, eleven years. That’s practically my entire life. I don’t understand why it happened. He was healthy and, yes, he might have been a little older but there was no reason to be. It all happened so quickly.  Right now I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t have anymore strength to go back to school and have everyone there bully me. Also Lilly hasn’t texted or called to me in a while. I know it’s Christmas break and she’s probably busy, but it’s not like her to not check up on me. I know I’m sounding selfish, but it would be nice for her to text me a little, “hey” or anything. Maybe I should text her. I don’t think I have the energy to talk about what happened right now. I can barely write it.

What if she’s not texting me because she’s starting to realize how depressed I am and doesn’t want to deal with me anymore? The only time that I feel like anyone cares about me is the little time my mom and I have together when she drives me home from school and she asks how my day was and what I’ve learned in school. Of course I say it was awesome and I learned so many new things because I can’t let my mom think I’m sad while the rest of the family is happy. Plus it would just add on to all of the stress her and dad have from work. So anyway I’m really hoping things turn up for me one day because I want to grow up and have a wonderful husband and family just like my mom and dad have today. Also you never know, maybe one day I could write about my whole experience about high school and it could be a number one best selling book like all of the ones I read; but like that’s ever gonna happen to me, only in my dreams.

January 1, 2016

I think I’ve figured out my New Year’s Resolution. I want to die before this year ends, and no one can stop me(if anyone cares about me enough to try).

February 14, 2016

Today would be Derek and my’s two year anniversary. It really puts a downer on Image result for depression picturesValentine’s Day now that we aren’t together. I remember it exactly. It was eighth grade, after Mr. McCarthy’s fourth period social studies class. Bethany and I were on our way to lunch and right as we walk into the cafeteria, Derek is standing on the stage in front of the whole grade with a bouquet of pink, red, and white flowers. In his hand with a huge sign that read “Elizabeth, will you go out with me?” I turn to Bethany and see a huge smile on her face. Then I run up to Derek and hug him. The whole cafeteria explodes with applause. I miss eighth grade. I miss Derek. I always wonder if I could’ve done or acted differently to have Bethany and I still be friends and Derek and I still be together. I don’t think I did anything wrong, but I guess I’m just not good enough for either of them. I don’t even feel good enough for me. Today, I’ve made my 25th cut on myself. I plan to make it 30 by the end of this month.

March 15, 2016

I can’t deal with it anymore, I can’t. I hate myself too much to deal with all of the miseries I have in my life. My dog is dead, I’m pretty sure that my parents are embarrassed of me, I have no friends, I get bullied at school, and the only person that likes me is Lilly. Our friendship is too complicated. We both have problems and no one likes us so we just teamed up. The only reason we’re still “friends” is because we actually want to be, but I’m not showing any signs of wanting to be friends. Ugh, I hate myself for not taking the chances I had. Why does this happen to me? Why did I need to exist if my only reason of living was to make everyone’s lives worse?  I’m gonna do it, I’m going to kill myself. I’m tired of ruining lives by my depression. This going to be the last time I will ever write. I don’t have much time because the rest of my family will be arriving from their dinner. I acted like I wasn’t feeling well. Although, I don’t feel well (I hate myself for Pete’s sake!).. Well, I don’t know what else to say except for goodbye. Thank you for listening to me when no one else would(It’s still sad that I’m talking like this to a journal). Ok, those can’t be my last “words” that’s so dumb. So I’ll just say it again. Goodbye (forever).

May 19, 2016

So, I’m not dead and couldn’t have been happier. Yes, I did fail attempting to kill myself, but I’m so incredibly happy I did. When I was finished writing my “last words,” I shut my journal and left it on my bed. Then, I ran to the bathroom, locked the door, and started the bath. Sobbing, I grabbed as many medicine bottles as I could from the cabinet. I wanted to stare at the bottles to think about what I was about to do, but I didn’t want to waste another second. Once I opened the bottles, I pushed the pills down my throat and layed down in the now filled bathtub. I remember sitting there, ready for the pills to kick in. Luckily, my family came home just in time. From what they told me, my parents went to go check on me in my room, but I wasn’t there. As they were looking for me, they noticed that the bathroom door was locked. Once they managed to open it, they rushed me to the hospital. I remember waking up from the overdose so vividly. My eyes gradually opened and I soon noticed that I wasn’t in the afterlife, instead in a hospital bed. My vision is blurry, but I make out the figures of my parents sitting to the left of me. My mom is holding my dad, resting her head on his, and he is holding her. I hear them sniffling. It pains me too much to realize that I did this to them. It hurts, but I gently turn my head to my right, seeing all of the needles in my body. I slightly cough and my parents look up at me at the same time. They run over crying, kissing me and hugging me. They get a doctor to come in and I get more medicine. Lilly would try to come in to visit me everyday after school. Some days I was asleep so she couldn’t. After a long week, I’m fully recovered (physically). I had to go to a therapist every single day for three weeks. I thought I would hate it, but it helped me so much. Now, I go three times a week. Thinking back to it, that doesn’t sound like the Elizabeth I know today.

It’s May and that means that it’s the end of the school year and summer is near. I can’t wait, I’m so excited. I know I’ve gone through a lot this year, but thankfully I had Lilly by my side. We grew together a lot more ever since I tried to commit suicide. She was going through family troubles the same time I was going through the worst time during my depression. That’s why she wouldn’t text me. Ever since “the incident,” she comes over my house to hang out and talk. I don’t think I could ask for a better best friend in the entire world. I was depressed this year because I started at a new school and I didn’t fit in like usual. I got bullied, pranked, and laughed at by people. Since I’ve been going to therapy, I’ve learned a lot about depression. Turns out, I’m one of the 350 million that get depression a year. It’s still odd to think that I went through depression. I’ve heard about it and how it affects so many people, but I never thought I could be one of them. When I’m older, I plan to write a book about my experience so that I can help other people going through the same thing as I did. 

My family is so sorry that they didn’t really pay attention to me and now I can understand because they are so busy and have a lot of kids to take care of. I love my family and my life is going great right now. I see the glass as half full instead of half empty, which is a great feeling. I have a few close friends, including Lilly and that’s all I need. I learned that it’s better to have a few close friends instead of fifty you barely know. Oh ya, I almost forgot to tell, this really cute guy moved in next door and I think he likes me, and of course I like him. I feel like we have a connection. We’ve talked a few times and had amazing conversations; I think he’s going to ask me out. Instead of waiting for him to ask me, I’m going to ask him later today (wish me luck!!). I don’t want to hide what I’m feeling anymore. It’s been a rough year, but I’m looking forward to the rest of my life. I haven’t had time to write in this journal a lot recently, but I’m going to start writing again. Well, see you tomorrow:)

There are many people in the world that experience depression.If you ever feel sad or depressed you should just know that there are people to talk to and don’t be afraid to let your voice be heard. You should always remember that there are many people who care and love for you. I hope this short story about Elizabeth’s life has made you realize that if you start to feel sad or depressed your not alone there are people to comfort you, and you should let them comfort you. If you are someone who is used to careing for other who are going through a tough time then you need to learn how to be open about you feelings and emotions and let people into your life.

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