The Urge to Fit In and Belong

Over the course of your lifetime, you are expected to face many hardships and challenges that stands in your way ready to pull you down. To succeed against whatever challenge(s) that you may face, you must stand up; and keep on fighting forward. Never give up, because you were born for a reason: You’ll always have a spot in this world; you have to fight to keep what’s yours.  “I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.” Unfortunately that is not the way of life if you are to live in present day time. To succeed in the way of life you must prove to yourself and others that indeed you do belong.

Everyone in this world has at some point of their life, experienced many difficult tests that life sets in the way for you to pass. The challenges may vary from person to person, but the message is clear: Never give up and try your best, for your best, helps you succeed in life. As Nikos Kazantzakis says,” In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can.

In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can. - Nikos Kazantzakis

I, myself, have faced many difficult issues in which has come to challenge me again and again: Being new. Throughout my 14 years, I have moved 4 times, every year of middle school to my freshmen year of high school. Trying to fit in, trying to not give up. To give up, would mean I had failed. To strive for my goals, would mean I had won. Never give up, and you’ll always find a path to success and remember: Everyone is unique in this world, but no one is not worthy of themselves.

There are malicious people out in the world, who will try to take advantage of any weakness you might show to make you feel inferior to them, and make themselves feel superior to you. Do not let them make you feel like you don’t belong: Stand up for yourselves, to show them you are not easily cowed, and prove to them that you are as worthy as they are, maybe even more. Stand up for yourselves, be strong, and never give up: That is the true pathway to success.

The urge to belong and fit in, among your peers is very powerful and strong. You might even go to extreme lengths and measures, to make yourself accepted by others. Though that might seem like the logical idea to you, it is not. Real friends, will come to you over time and stick with you through thick and thin. Others, only will find you as someone to “use” as long as you suit their purposes and needs. Be yourself and those that come to you for being yourself, are your true friends. Don’t ever change, just to satisfy others.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” To succeed, maintain your true colors and characteristics, and never change into someone that isn’t you.

To really belong in this world, you must not let others influence you into being anything else other than your true self. Stand up for what you think is right: Not what others think. In life, challenges approach you, to test you. Everything in this world comes for a reason. As time pass, a sense of belonging will evolve, and make you feel like you truly belong.

Image result for never give up

From my own past experiences, I know what it feels like to not fit in and struggle through the challenges that lies in the way. My parents are Chinese, and know very little or limited amount of English. Being the oldest, I had to take on the responsibility of translating everything for my parents that involved English. I started translating for my parents at the age of 8, while still learning English myself. It was a constant struggle, to put English words into Chinese, and explain it thoroughly and clearly to my parents.

Along with helping my parents with English, I also had to worry about my performance in school. I started Kindergarten at the age of 5, in Manhattan, New York City, New York. I never attended ESL (English as a Second Language), and learned along with everyone else. Over time, with a bit more of additional help, from tutors and teachers, I started to speak English more fluently. When that happened which was around the age of 8, my parents started relying on me more and more to explain almost everything that involved English to them.

This placed enormous stress and responsibility on me, and at such an young age. I managed to do all this though, with the help of my friends, older cousins, teachers, and tutors.

At the end of 5th grade, I was eager to start my middle school years, with my childhood friends. My closest friends and I, all applied into the same middle school, and successfully got in. In a fever of anticipation, I couldn’t wait for the summer to be over. Then…a month into summer break, my mom broke the news to me: Moving. I was devastated that I had to leave all my friends behind, and start out all over in a new place where I knew no one, and no one knew me.

My dad, mom, and I, all moved to Joliet, Illinois. I started middle school at Timber Ridge Middle school as the “new girl” and hated it. I knew no one, while everyone else knew at least someone, from elementary school. Around the middle of the year, I met two wonderful people, who I soon called my best friends. I made other friends, but I was always closest to my two bff’s, Sarah and Kaitlyn. I finished my 6th grade year, by meeting a lot of wonderful new people.

I was starting to hate Joliet less and less, when my parents again said we had to move due to family business. I felt waves of despair crash over me, as I knew what would happen at my new school. This time, we moved to Rockford Illinois and my new school, Flinn Middle School. I started off the year, just like my 6th grade year, being new. Two months later, I met two girls, Jamie and Molly, and we soon became good friends. Just as I was looking forward to meeting more people, around Christmas break, my parents once again revealed the news that we had to move yet again.

This time to Selbyville Delaware, in the middle of the school year. I was bitter and angry, that my parents wouldn’t even consider my education before their business… I then spent one year and a half in Selbyville Delaware, for the rest of my middle school years. Starting 7th grade, in the middle of the school year was just plain torture for me. On the other hand, I quickly became friends with two wonderful girls who reached out to me, when I was new. Chloe and Logan, who helped me through out my rough times of 7th grade.

I went into the last year of middle school, with Chloe and Logan by my side. Soon, I became even closer with 4 more girls: Elaine, Casey (AKA KC or Case), Scarlett, and Itzel. Thanks to those 6 girls, and my supportive teachers, my final year in middle school was a blast.

All 7 of us, applied for the same high school and we all got in, eager to start a new part of our life together. Then the news that I dreaded arrived: This time moving to Florence, Kentucky. My parents promised me that this would be our last move, and we wouldn’t ever move again. Once again I had no choice or say in this matter.

I started my freshmen year in Larry A Ryle High School, and once again being new. Each time when I felt like I would finally be happy, and belong, my hopes were snatched away from me and I would have to start all over again.

Along with moving quadruple times, I still have to deal with the stress of managing and helping my parents out. Bills, phone calls, letters, and more were all placed on me. Along with the fact that my little sister who is extremely spoiled and has a terrible temper, which doesn’t help calm down matters.

I have faced a lot of challenges in my short lifetime, and I know I will still face many more. To those out there who are struggling with what life throws at you, just remember: Never give up, you have to try in order to succeed. Life will include good times and bad, but you can always make your way out, just by simply standing back up and fighting back.

Don’t be a quitter, be a winner.

Don’t give up, because at the end, the fight will be worth it.

Life doesn’t last long, so move on, and be happy as best as you can.

You got this! #FightForYourSuccess, and never ever give up!


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