“Rape is the only crime where the victim becomes the accused.” – Freda Adler
VIRGINITIPHOBIA. AN ABNORMAL OR PERSISTENT FEAR OF RAPE. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Today we live in a culture where every 2 minutes, an American citizen is the victim of sexual assault. Little girls are often told, “Don’t get raped,” but boys are rarely told, “Don’t rape.” We live in a world where no means convince me and flirting is a green light for sex. On average, there are 288,820 victim’s (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault reported each year in the United States. These numbers are only taken from victims who have decided to share their story! Females ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault. 1 out of every 10 rape victims are male. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~As three young women, only a few years away from entering the world, rape is a common worry. We have been given many warnings throughout our childhood. Don’t talk to stranger’s. Don’t go outside at night alone. Always travel in groups of three. Don’t wear that, it’s distracting. Sometimes these warnings leave us feeling trapped, anxious, and degraded. Why can’t we walk through a college campus with the confidence of a man? Why are we always forced to change our clothes that are considered to be “too revealing”? Why can’t a man be taught to respect women, and not look at them like a doll? Of the 288,820 victims, very few voices have been heard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The topic of rape is close to our hearts because one of the three young women in our group has had second-hand experience with rape and sexual assault. Let’s call this person, ‘KC’. KC had an extremely overprotective mother, and could never go out with her friends if there was no trusted adult tagging along. She was taught self defense at a young age, and she begged her mother for days to even go to a friend’s house. Although she often talked to members of her family, she was never able to talk to her uncle. KC never really knew why, until one day, her mother sat her down with puffy cheeks and red eyes. Her mother explained everything, how she was raped as a child by the person she called her brother. KC was horrified, she realized why her mother was always so protective, why her mother hated the idea of KC getting a boyfriend, or even being close friends with a guy. Why her Mother had yelled at her Father every time he would let her go out without adults or older friends to protect her. Her mother had battled with the constant fear of her daughter facing the same fate as her. KC was affected by her Mother’s past, and sometimes it was overwhelming, the fear had been placed into her life without ever being asked of it. Now KC struggles with the fear of going out too late at night. Walking alone, her hands are clutched around her cellphone, 9-1 tapped into the dial, one second away from adding another 1. When she stays in the car alone, she holds onto the emergency button on the car keys; for the same reason her heart beats out of her chest when she’s walking past a slow moving car. This is how the afflicted are effected.
Whether or not you know someone who has been raped, some girls face the same fate. If you or someone you know has had a bout with rape/ sexual assault, tell someone!
If you have any ideas or thoughts about this blog, please share in the comments below!
This is rape culture, and that is not okay.
Poetry is a way many people tell the stories no one cared to listen to, but we want these few people’s voices heard. Rape Culture , a poetry collection by various authors.