We Hurt Too

Not every boy has the perfect life. Not every boy can stand up after he gets pushed down. I am one. This is my struggle with depression. This is about my ditch of hardship, and my peak of realization.

pexels-photo-48673.jpeg (1920×1280)You often hear in stories that the people getting hurt are the girls. That the heroes are always the boys and that they’re all strong inside and make the girls feel better. Not every boy is like that. Not every boy can be there for the girl of his dreams. Not every boy has the perfect life and can stand up after he gets pushed down. In fact, with all honesty, it’s the girl that comes and saves the boy. It’s the girl that makes the boy strong. It’s the girl that helps the boy stand up. We don’t always have enough strength, we don’t always open up. We hold our feelings inside of ourselves and show no emotion. Doing this makes us depressed, but we don’t stop and try to help ourselves or ask for someone elses help because we’ve got this image in our head that we’re supposed to be the strong. How can we be strong when we’re a bigger wreck than the Titanic inside?

Being depressed can cause a lot of things. For me, it’s like having a huge mix of feelings and not knowing which is which. I may be stressed but feel happy. How can I be happy, but stressed beyond belief? How can one tell everyone that they’re fine, but want to punch a wall every night to feel the pain and let out all of the emotions bottled inside? How come depression causes people to lie and do things they wouldn’t normally do? Depression is a demon in itself, a problem, a state of mind. Why do people have this “state of mind”? Why is it so hard to get out of it? Why is it so hard to get better and make all of the problems go away?

No one knows…That’s another layer added on- Another foot to the ditch that you’re already in.

Me to Loved One (also suffering from depression): “People may say that you need “professional help”. There is no profession. There is now “professional” help. There’s only people who get paid to “help” you in the way that THEY think is best. Not your decision, theirs. They make the choices for you. That’s the whole reason you’re there right? Because you can’t make your own decisions. You need “help”. I guess friends and family don’t help. I guess they aren’t enough. I guess you have to rely on a stranger to “help”, to “ make you feel better and get well. Embedded in my mind, nobody else. How can that be possible if you always seem distant and away? How can I be the one to make you feel better and be the light in your darkness when you constantly tell me you’re fine? How can I be the one that’s strong when you’re always down and I feel like I’m helpless?”

Knowing my own struggles, knowing what I went through, it attracts me to those who are going through the same problems. I guess that’s my problem isn’t it? I try to help everybody. I try to make all of the problems go away. I try to be the world’s hero for the broken and bruised. In reality, there’s no such thing. All you can do for people who are depressed is let them know that you’re there for them. I’ve heard that so many times. Just maybe, if you let them know that, it might be enough to get them out of that “state of mind”. Maybe you can heal and mend the cracks in their heart. Maybe, you can be the one that gives a person who is depressed enough energy and will to climb out of the ditch they’re digging, unwillingly, but with great force. Maybe you can show them hope.

HOPE. Isn’t that what we all need? People deal with depression in many different ways. Some drink, some cry, some get angry. Me, I listen to songs that make me feel emotion. I listen to songs that make me feel pain and that has meaning. They’re usually songs that I can associate with; feelings that I have for my girlfriend; Songs that give me fear; fear of me losing her; fear of not being able to succeed at tasks that are important to me. Listening to these songs makes me determined to do my best in my relationship and to stay strong while facing difficult tasks. These songs give me hope through pain. If only
there were songs like that for everything.

Please, if you’re struggling with depression, talk to somebody. I promise you that holding it in, that holding in all of your emotions and feelings will not make anything better. I also promise you, that is you talk to somebody, and let it out, then it will feel like all of the wait and pain on your shoulders is gone. You WILL feel better. I PROMISE. Take it from someone who holds everything in and doesn’t open up. Please, if you’ve tried other things in the past that haven’t worked, stop giving up and try this. You are loved. You are liked. Somebody likes you just the way you are. Find your true self. I believe in you, you can do anything. You are not alone. You can make it. Stay strong and find a solution that help you best. Teen girls are more likely to experience depression than boys. Twenty percent of teens will experience depression before they become adults, we can work together and drop that number. Maybe you can help somebody else like I did.

Do you have a story? Respond and share… 

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