The basics of cliques
Cliques. They are everywhere. By age 9 or 10, kids are aware of differences. Some kids who believe that, for example, become prejudice because of their parents or relatives. Everyone is in a clique and every clique has their own problems. They could be arguing with other cliques or within themselves. Cliques are (in my opinion) a good thing. Yes, they may exclude others, but you have the chance to make super close friends.
Not all cliques are super tight. Some are just a group of people in a common activity. So those people may also be considered in other cliques. Others are in such close knit groups that they only talk to those people.
Many cliques may be assembled by the activities they do. For example, I’ve noticed marching band kids and kids who are on specific sports teams generally stay with the students that do the same activities. They spend most of their time together as a team and depend on each other in games. So they become close friends from that. So ask yourself “What kind of clique am I in? What are the people I associate with like? What problems do we have with other cliques? How could I solve these problems?”
Cliques could be on your school bus, your classroom, your sports team, even your own household. You may not realize it, but cliques are the unspoken caste system of America. Clique groups determine what you wear, how you act, who you talk to, and even where you sit. This could be portrayed as a good or bad thing. It could be good because you could be in a great group and feel included and everything. However, it could also be a bad thing because you could not belong to a clique and you could get bullied by someone from a higher clique. You could observe these through movies that have a high school setting because they mainly focus on how an outcast gets through their days as a high school student who is at the bottom of the caste.
“Mean Girls” is a HUGE example of cliques and their problems. If you haven’t seen it I recommend you do that to fully grasp an idea of cliques.
To access more examples of everyday clique problems, “clique” here. 🙂
I didn’t want the drama
I personally have been in situations where cliques have gotten out of hand. I was hanging out with friends and a rumor spread about a girl in my group and another girl in a different clique. No one knew who spread the rumor. They both fought a lot because of this. The result was unfortunate because many of my friends tried to avoid hanging out. There was nothing I could do to fix the problem that had so carelessly been created.
I tried to find where I belonged
I have never had to deal with gossiping, so when I wrote this song, I had to think about Melinda from Speak. I tried to imagine how awful it would be to walk through the halls and just know that people are whispering to each other about you. I have, however, dealt with cliques. In elementary school I made friends very easily, and I think almost everyone would agree that making friends in elementary school is easy. Middle school became a little more difficult. My best friend and I began to drift apart and I found that to be a difficult time because I didn’t have other friends to turn to. At lunch I would jump from table to table trying to find a permanent group of friends. In my 8th grade year I had finally found a good group of friends. Unfortunately, when I moved to high school, all the friends I had made in the previous year had different classes. During lunch I sat with a girl I knew in my class, and to my relief, we have become great friends and I’m happy to sit with her.
We just associate with the people we meet and then we don’t try to invite anyone who may be lonely and in need of a friend. I learned an important lesson, sometimes if someone won’t talk to you, go talk to them. Never wait for the change.
Be the change that you want to see in the world. – Mahatma Ghandi
Original song by Lucy Lawal: I am Gonna Fight
Walking through an empty room
They all assume
I can’t hear what they say
Can’t be hard to recognize
What’s a truth, what’s a lie
Yet they still carry on
It’s never easy
But just believe me
It can change
I am gonna fight and
I am gonna fight to
Show I’m strong
And I am gonna fight and
I am gonna fight to
Show I belong
The forecast says it will be gray
The clouds will stay
For another day
Just add a splash of color
Then add another
So now, we encourage you to spread the love. Smile at people you don’t know. Try to make new friends in other cliques. Or be spontaneous. Put kind notes in random lockers or give a compliment to someone new everyday. Send us your clique stories or ways that you tried to spread love.